In Summarium In Memoriam

by Marcus Broderick Montgomery

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In Summarium In Memoriam|

credits

released January 14, 2019

For AJVS
For Desmond
For Miles
For Derek

For Marcus Broderick Montgomery

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all rights reserved

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about

Marcus Broderick Montgomery Chicago, Illinois

Intention (n.)
The Healing Process of a Wound.
The Purpose, the Stretching; that flesh reaches from itSelf—toward itSelf—for itSelf, what else is Self Love?

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Track Name: I
I’ve got to
Keep the Sabbath days holy, pray to Audre’s Lord
Live through the questions as if Amanda Asked
Trouble the waters of India’s Risen River
My Love’s Big Enough if I say so Lianne
I Wrote This For You, won’t you Please Find This, Iain
Natasha’s Sojourn I know, but the rest is Unwritten
Many The Miles, que sera, Cause Sara would Want To See me Be Brave

I’d rather
Live Outside, Thinking Bout’ You, baptized by Frank’s Ocean
Cultivating Salt, Honoring Nayyirah’s Notions
Opposite Side of The Sea, Oren Smile’s Blue at me
Vindicated as Sampha opines What Shouldn’t I Be
Goldmund knows History is Sometimes Too Much Still
& Though I can rest in Slow Meadow’s, ride Old Carousels
I won’t forget, twigs warned me, how she loved another & hated herSelf; I want to be Closer
Track Name: II
I have grown
To no longer
Resent giving
Affirmations & affections
That go unreturned
When I’ve reached
The point of
Emptiness, despondent-ness
Liminal occasions
Arise to
Transmute illusions
Into Truth
This is my Intimate Intention

Falsely known
Notions of
Who I was
Led to immense harm
& Empty charm
Charisma Chimera
Cataclysmic circumstances
Made it so I could be new
The blood will dry, & I’ll arise
Holistically enraptured
This is my Intimate Intention

Beneath the Pretension
Passion as Permission
Prayer of Contrition
This is my Intimate Intention
Track Name: III
This vessel is mine
My Desires, Divine
Though I’m not perfect in my ministry
& that is just fine
Long as I keep in mind
I am not to be violent needlessly

As it would happen I’m Hurting
But I am no less deserving
Of love

Ordained is this time
My Intentions, Sublime
So as I offer mySelf clemency
& honor, enshrine
That toward which I’m inclined
But such I need not always achieve

So as of now I am learning
The alternative to yearning
Enough
Track Name: IV
Gardens I have tried to grow in
Lands laden with herbicide
I’ve been invasive unbeknownst &
Been encouraged to whither, die
Implied I’ve made misuse of stamens
Honored the carpels, chiefly mine
Rain I proudly venerated
Deprived mySelf of the sunshine

It’s a miracle I’m alive
It took some time
To reconcile this genius genus
Circularity now subsides
& through this plight
I’ve unearthed mySelf sui generis

If I’d known then what I’m uncovering
I’d have chosen different mystery
Heartbreak had shown I’d been hungering
For someone to empower me
To honor my seeds, same as soil
& reap what’s sown sustainably
It’s time that I’ve embraced the toil
Of confidence & nurturing
Track Name: V
I held these truths to be Self evident
Still I traverse this ache for reverence
In this particular century
I advocate for Self Sovereignty
All this ritual sacrifice just to have borne me

Though I posit that I’m strengthened by this
Epigenetically speaking I have implored it
With subterfuge no longer realized
Paradigmatic shift catalyzed
I pray we witness equity within this lifetime

It’s a matter of collective choice
But since I have a say I will lend my voice
Toward deliverance & providence
& the light of a new day
Track Name: VI
Glory rests upon conciliation
In this time I’ve chosen to forgive
What my hands have drawn from devastation
Is a new authority to live
If in fact I could bear transmutation
I would take all of this shame in me & gild
Tendered deep within for integration
So that the spirit be fulfilled

I could have peace today
Track Name: VII
So I won’t fear
The solemn concerns
Instead I’ll embrace
Them as they appear
I will nurture them
Until they find their place

As I come to hold mySelf
I find that there is no lack
& should I behold mySelf
All such would be given back

So then these years
That it took to discern
This cyclical pain
That I’ve commandeered
Have served their purposes
& been effaced

As I come to hold mySelf
As I come to hold mySelf
As I come to hold mySelf
As I come to hold mySelf
Track Name: VIII
& if I’ve become comfortable with suffering
& if I’ve never thought more of the world
Than this place that I have known,
I’m a prisoner of my mind
Shed flesh shouldn’t be re-sewn
Time to step into a new life

& if I give up all things that aren’t for me
& if I let go of the grief that’s come to pass
Then here in all of this new space,
I’m sure I could manifest
Surely this promised being state
Would only bring the best

I admit that I’m afraid
I’m getting closer & I’m far away
From the falsehoods
The misgivings & the shame
& for once I do not know what is next
Track Name: IX
Then there is room to dream
Who would’ve thought I’d grow to see
Life for its splendor
It’s all up to me
So if I decide, then what’s not meant to be
What an endeavor

I must have faith
Not in the God in the sky
But the God in my face
The God in my veins
I will not make haste
But when it’s time to grow
I will embrace
& honor the change
Track Name: X
Beautiful
I could be
I could feel
Beautiful
I could breathe
I could heal
Beautiful
Track Name: XI
Grace Be
to the elders, the ancestors, & the spirits
Peace & Blessings
To all else who bear this experience
Know that I walk with you
That I tire as you tire
Welcome sacred salt waters
That cleanse us & inspire

Rest Be
To the Intending, the downtrodden & fallen
Strength & Wisdom
To all else who answer to their calling
Know that you are luminary
Darkness begets light
Take your faiths & plant them
In the soil of your life

Ashé